A little background before someone explains computers to me in the comments: I have been messing with them since around 1977. My first store-bought computer was a TRS-80 from Radio Shack. I have a master’s degree in computer forensics and cybercrime, and I taught everything from basic networking to penetration testing at a college here in Illinois for more than 20 years.
So yes, I have some experience with technology.
I have also learned the first rule of computers: no matter how much education or experience you have, eventually a printer will humble you.
Has technology made camping easier and more enjoyable?
Absolutely. Hands down.
We have GPS, Harvest Hosts, Love’s Rewards—and I mean the fuel stop, so settle down—weather apps, campground apps, backup cameras, tire-pressure monitors and enough electronics inside the camper to launch a small satellite.
I can control the lights, air conditioner, awnings and other parts of the camper with my phone or iPad. At this point, I am pretty sure the camper knows more about what is going on than I do.
Soon, the camper will probably be able to cook supper, level itself, make reservations and tell me I missed the turn.
Dawn already handles that last one, so the technology may be unnecessary.
I love a lot of the new gadgets, but there are still some things I cannot get on board with.
First: BOOKS.
Give me a real book.
I want the weight of it in my hands. I want to turn actual pages. I want to smell that new-book smell, especially a nice hardback or leather-bound book.
Don’t hand me a Kindle. Don’t tell me I can store 5,000 books on an iPad. I don’t need 5,000 books with me. I need one good book, a comfortable chair and enough light to see the words without holding the book six inches from my face.
I already stare at screens all day. I don’t want my book asking me to update, accept cookies, create a password or charge the battery before I can finish Chapter 12.
I may be one of the last people alive who still prefers a real book. Someday, archaeologists will find my camper and say, “Look! This ancient man carried paper.”
I also miss paper maps.
You would pull one out of the glove box, unfold it across the dashboard and suddenly block the windshield, the radio, the air conditioner and possibly the passenger.
You could unfold a paper map in about three seconds.
Folding it back correctly required an engineering degree, three additional people and a direct message from God.
Once opened, that map was never going back into the glove box. It usually spent the rest of its life folded into a shape resembling a wounded accordion.
And who remembers MapQuest?
You would wait 15 minutes for the dial-up modem to connect while it made noises like two robots fighting inside a garbage disposal.
Then you would spend another 30 minutes downloading the directions over a 56K modem. Just when it reached 95%, someone in another room would pick up the telephone.
Connection lost. Back to zero.
That same disaster happened with Napster. You would spend four hours downloading one song, only to discover it was the wrong version, recorded live in somebody’s basement with a lawn mower running in the background.
Then you had to print your MapQuest directions on a dot-matrix printer. That printer took 30 minutes to produce four pages and sounded like a machine gun battle had broken out in the office.
You would finally leave with your printed directions, miss one turn and immediately become lost because MapQuest had no idea where you were anymore. There was no “recalculating.”
There was only yelling, turning around in somebody’s driveway and blaming the person holding the directions. Even with GPS, I still prefer a two-lane road over the interstate any day of the week. The interstate might get you there faster, but the back roads are usually where you find the places, people and memories worth talking about later.
Of course, I realize I am writing all of this on a computer, probably posting it through Wi-Fi and checking the comments on my phone.
So I am not exactly living off the grid. I am just standing near the grid with a real book and a paper map.
What is your favorite piece of camping technology?
And what is one old-school thing you absolutely refuse to give up?
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