So it begins…
I’m not sure why, but Dawn my lovely wife of nearly 35 years and camping partner through thick, thin, and at least five campers is stressing over this upcoming trip. I mean, we’re only going 15 miles down the road to Crab Orchard National Wildlife Refuge. This isn’t exactly Into the Wild. This is more like Into the Suburbs… with Trees.
Granted, this is our first fifth wheel. But still, we’ve gone from an 18-foot no-slide sardine can to a 38-foot three slide land yacht (I was a nervous wreck the first time I pulled it). This time we downsized from 38 to 27.
She’s been arranging and rearranging the camper like Martha Stewart on espresso—three times over. I swear she’s bought more new things for this camper than she did when we upsized to the 38-footer. I’m not judging… just observing. From a safe distance.
If you haven’t already, check out the saga of our bedding drama: Tale of the Mattress and Return of the Mattress 2.0: Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back in the Camper. It’s the stuff of legends… or at least mild back pain.
Now, because Dawn works till 6 on Friday, I get to go out early and set everything up solo: camper, dog fence for Odie, and dinner. (Because nothing says “romance” like a man sweating through leveling blocks while getting the AC going so Odie I mean Dawn is comfortable when she arrives at 6:30.)
Saturday morning it’s just me and Odie. But don’t worry—I’m skipping the Frosted Flakes this time and going full gourmet: eggs, hash brownstones, bacon, and biscuits. Yes, I’m eating like Odie. No, I’m not sharing. (He will still have his Turkey, rice, green beans, carrots and squash)
We also have a slushy machine now, because we’re classy like that. So when Dawn gets there and hits us with the classic “So… what have you been doing all morning?” line, I’ll just hand her a slushy and pretend I’ve been productive. (Spoiler alert: I haven’t.)
We’re right on the lake this weekend, so sunset watching is high on the list—right after dodging mosquitoes like I’m in a low-budget kung fu movie. Honestly, I know we are not to question God but I sure wish Noah had pushed to leave the mosquitos and trade for maybe I don’t know say two unicorns instead? Or heck, even two Krakens. At least a Kraken doesn’t bite your ankles and leave you itchy for a week—it just ends things swiftly.
Anyway, it’s just us this weekend. Can’t wait to enjoy our new camper, the peaceful lake, a few icy slushies, Odie, and of course… Dawn. Here’s hoping I survive the mosquitoes, the setup, and the what-have-you-been-doing-all-day interrogation.
Let the adventure begin. 🍳🐶🦟🚐
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